... Lost, being Lost as to why i'm Lost, and just generally Lost!

This is a tuff one for me. I was so nearly going to RANT about this subject rather than RAVE, but I decided that I couldn't bullshit myself any longer.

In an age of shovelling a constant stream of tepid crap in the general direction of the TV viewing public, I often find myself wanting to put my size 11 through my television box. I have stood up, turned around and stared back into the toilet, and found more interesting and entertaining turds I have done than television programs of late.

Lately though, I have to admit that I have found myself strangely compelled to watch programs that are over-hyped, trashy, and not as good as everybody likes to make out. I include 'Little Britain' in this, and will no doubt have some sheep-like turd lickers bang on about how "I obviously don't get it", but I do. I just know that it isn’t all that.

Anyway I digress. My point is that I have become strangely drawn, compelled to watch, and borderline obsessed with the program Lost.



This show is completely unbelievable and utter trash. It has been over-hyped so much globally to the point where there are thousands of websites on the damn thing. It is flawed to the point where Lord of the Rings seems viable. And yet ...

And yet I dare you to watch the first few episodes without finding yourself getting sucked into what the hell is going on. I've found myself wasting precious oxygen by discussing; why they are all there? Where this island actually is? Are they in fact all dead and this is just some form of purgatory? Why are there Polar Bears on this island? What is the monster which you have only heard so far? Why each character might be there? How they all are linked together? Why certain flashbacks reveal certain information? Why? Why? Why?

Grrr ... it fucking irritates me beyond sharing a car journey to Glasgow with Jade Goody. And yet ...

Just the fact that I have wasted so much times with why's, where's, what's, how's and to's means that I just couldn't bring myself to RANT about it. So if someone offers you the chance of borrowing the DVD's when they are released, book yourself a free weekend and watch half of the first series. Just for the fact that it will push your natural human instinct to be curious about things you don't quite understand, I would say watch it. And if you don't have the natural human instinct to be curious about things - well fuck off back to your inbred, insignificant existence safe in the knowledge that nobody has any natural human instinct to be curious as to who the hell you are.

... a classic from Ireland

They don't make them like they used to.

... a sword wielding midget

Now if ever you needed an excuse to get broadband, well here it is ... The Little Ninja

The animation is top notch, and the violence administered by the sword-wielding midget is top-notch I shit you not!

For those of you who are too dumb to navigate their way around the site, you are looking to go the the bit marked "Chapters" dumb-ass.

... something interesting from Russia

Firstly ... Russia.

Big place.
Cold.
Lots of poor people.
Spawned the man who is ruining the beautiful game in England.
Not a lot comes out of there we give two shits about in the West, apart from Vodka obviously.

Secondly ... that is about to change ... maybe.

A gentleman by the name of Timur Bekmambetov who has previously spent his time making TV adverts and music videos for the Russian MTV generation, decided to sit down with another gentleman by the name of Sergei Lukyanenko, who had written a trilogy of books in the horror/fantasy genre. Together they decided to adapt Sergei's novels into a trilogy of films. The first being called "Nochnoy Dozor" which translates into both "Night Watch" and "Night Patrol". This first film, on it's release in Russia, made about $15 million in it's first three weeks, which by the way pisses all over the box office receipts taken in Russia for "Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" & "Spiderman:2". They obviously loved it.


Made for $4 million, which is apparently very pricey for a Russian flick, it obviously caught the eye of some big US studios, and so Fox Searchlight purchased the international rights to it. The film has basically taken The Matrix/Lord of the Rings/Blade/Star Wars and various other action films, chucked them into a blender and added lots and lots of Russian Vodka. Apparently there are a lot of ideas taken from other films - impossible not to do these days i'm afraid - but managed to douse the fuck out of them with pure Russian Vodka. The result seems to be something quite interesting.

To see my point, have a look HERE, and snoop about the website for said film. You will also need to have a look at the trailer to fully appreciate how good this could be.

Granted film trailers are designed to make something look good and interesting, and get bums on seats in the cinema, so I admit that the actual film could be a mess and a bit pants, but i'm willing to stick my neck out on this one. The reason I hold high hopes, is that for international audiences they took the brave step of trying something new. So instead of your bog standard subtitles, they dared to do something new. Throughout, the dialogue text evaporates, pulsates, and changes color in tune with the action.

The one thing that i'll be wanting to see was a sneak little preview that Variety Magazine let slip - "Make-up effects are similarly top-flight and effectively gruesome, climaxing with a spine being ripped out and used as a sword". Now that's right up my street!

In order to form your own opinion, you can see both good and bad praise for the film HERE.